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Sunday, January 3, 2016

What I need -- what I want

A few months ago, I bought a new bible.  I also bought one for a friend who had just become a Christian.  I bought two, identical in every way, except the cover.  My friend has dark hair and I thought that a burgundy and gray Bible would be just right for her.  For myself, I picked the perfect cover: it was a light caramel color with a faux leather cover with flowers stamped on it.  I wanted it so much.  It was completely me! 

The bibles arrived.  I opened them, wrote the dedications in the front and then realized something: the burgundy and gray one had three snaps on it to keep it closed; the caramel one did not.  My friend has rheumatoid arthritis  and her hands are swollen and the snap at the top of her bible was very stiff; she wouldn't be able to open it easily or comfortably.  It made me very sad, but I realized that she should have the caramel -- my beautiful, perfect-for-me bible.  I sadly wrote a new dedication in the caramel bible and gave it to her on the day of her baptism.   I had really wanted that bible.

It took only a few days to realize that God gave me the bible that I needed.  I wanted to carry the new bible in my purse and I put everything in my purse: two organizers, wallet, crayons, (no diapers, anymore) snacks, knitting.  If I put the caramel bible in my purse, it would have been wrecked in a few months, but the snaps on the burgundy and gray protected it so the pages wouldn't get rumpled and torn. 

I could thank God because He gave me, not what I wanted, but what I needed.  And the fact that I don't care for the colors keeps me humble and is a reminder that what I need is better than what I want.

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