Simplifying Life -- Answering "Why?"

Years ago, beset by a huge house and lots of little kids, I started reading books about simple living. The most important conclusion I came to as the foundation for how to simplify life was, whenever you take any action, ask the question "why?" 

"Why" am I doing this?

"Why" should I do this?

"Why" do I have this item?

"Why" should I get this item?

"Why" am I not doing this?

"Why" am I allowing this?

There are all kinds of ways to simplify your life, but you have to found your decisions on something.  I ask "why?"  The answer has to be based on scripture first, but after that, I have to be honest with myself.  For instance:

"Why" am I not inviting that widow over for Christmas?  The scripture says we should visit widows and orphans, invite the lame and the poor and those who can't return our hospitality to our homes. Then I have to be honest with myself.  Is inviting her embarrassing?  Too much trouble?  I just don't wanna? 

"Why" are we having the kids play in the traveling league?  The Bible says to not separate from the world, but to stay involved.  Okay, so scripturally, there's nothing wrong with the traveling league.  Now, I have to be honest.  "Why" am I having the kids in traveling league?  Do my kids really enjoy it?  Does my husband think its important?  Do we really have the money?  Do we have the time?  Do I care about this sport?  Are we making relationships with other families that are a good witness for the Lord?  Are the other kids a good or bad influence on my kids?  Would our lives be easier or better if we weren't in traveling league?  Is this bringing our family together, or splintering us apart?

When my kids pester me year after year, generation after generation ("big kids" and "new crew") to have friends sleep over or to get a video gaming system, I have actual reasons  -- answers to "why?" -- to give them.  

 "Why" don't we have friends sleep over?  "As far as it lies with you, be at peace with all men."  We want to keep our children safe, so we don't allow any of our kids to stay over at kids' houses.  If we say "yes" to one child and "no" to another, and it gets back to them, then they will feel badly and we would not have shown love to all their friends, the trustworthy and untrustworthy, and would have driven a wedge between us and the child who might need us.  For myself, I was often the "uninvited" child and felt terrible.  It would have been better if no one had been invited at all, rather than to be the one person who wasn't.  I would hate to be responsible for that in another child.

"Why" should we not have a gaming system?  "Redeem the time, for the days are evil."  I don't know if this scripture is precisely applicable, but it's the one I use when the kids are after me (again!) to get a gaming system.  Being honest with myself:  hand-helds were very popular when our oldest were 7 or 8 and I hated how the children I saw would be riveted over their games, ignoring those around them, not sharing with other children.  Now, we see this with telephones.  The worst part of it is, the camel's nose under the tent.  Once you get one game, another is called for and another and another and a more advanced system and this game is outdated, so you need the new version for the new system.  Thousands of dollars are spent on machinery and software that cause people not to speak to one another.  More arguments happen at our house over things with screens than any other reason.  My family got us a Wii with a foot board for doing exercises with and it was great for that reason and we only had a few games.  It seemed that rarely did anyone play Wii sitting down, so at least there was physical exercise happening.  But, as they do, they wore out and we needed new things.  The board was no longer compatible with the replacement system and the exercise software didn't work with it, either, so the whole reason for getting it in the first place is gone and all we do is play Mario and Sonic games and Toy Story 3 and ask for more games.  My beautiful, outgoing little Noah has become obsessed and his face is not the cheerful, interested-in-others face that I was used to seeing.  When we have a garage sale, the new Wii is going, and, since I paid for it, I can do it without consulting anyone.  Except God, and I'm pretty sure He'd rather see us playing a board game.