Decluttering

This again!  Everyone is talking about decluttering.  The show Hoarders woke up even my husband to the value of not keeping EVERYTHING he owns.  So, how do you do it? The New Year is a good time to think about this, so we'll talk about that today.

Scripture to apply: "Let all things be done decently and in order." I Corinthians 14:40.  So, let's get in order.

All my ideas have come from other people, so here are my suggestions.

Don Aslett recommends picking up a room by putting each item into a paper bag labeled either, "Put away," "Give away," or "Throw away."

Sandra Felton, with Messies Anonymous said years ago on Focus on the Family that you should start with one drawer and basically do what Don Aslett recommends above.  It's a lot less intimidating than a whole room.

The most effective technique for me came from a Mother's Day article in a local paper in St. Paul, Minnesota when we were showing at a fiber show.  A mom with two little kids decided to declutter her house by 250 pounds.  I thought, "I've been married a lot longer than she has and I have eight kids.  I can probably declutter 750 pounds.  No, how about a 1000.  I know: I'll make it an even ton!" 

So, I started weighing everything that I was planning to get out of my house.  It included old papers, old computers, clothes, toys, 3 1/2 inch computer disks, books, video tapes, kitchen gadgets and 50 pound tubs of soybeans that were purchased when Carter was president.  Some things were burned (like the papers,) some were given to friends, some taken to the metal salvage or used book store for money, some sent to Goodwill and some simply trashed.  I admit, I had a barn scale for weighing animals that made it easier.  My dad was wondering why I kept pushing the wheelbarrow filled with boxes and bags out to the barn.  You can also weigh yourself and then carry the item you are pitching.

I stopped weighing things when I got to 2700 pounds!  But, I haven't stopped decluttering.  It has become a way of life to hold things loosely, to choose tools, books, movies and clothes wisely, to give away easily.  I am not a naturally generous person.  It probably started when I was a child and the one thing we were allowed to pick at the grocery store was our cereal.  My cereal!  Plus, Rule #1 at our house was, "Don't touch things that don't belong to you" and we didn't have a Rule #2!   Anyway, I find it so much easier to give now than I ever did before and I have more grace over my belongs than I ever had before.  I teach my kids to be good steward of our things and that is what they are disciplined for when they destroy them, it is not me having my right to not have my stuff destroyed that is being violated. 

When everything is God's, I have a lot more joy in life. 

Simplifying Life -- Answering "Why?"

Years ago, beset by a huge house and lots of little kids, I started reading books about simple living. The most important conclusion I came to as the foundation for how to simplify life was, whenever you take any action, ask the question "why?" 

"Why" am I doing this?

"Why" should I do this?

"Why" do I have this item?

"Why" should I get this item?

"Why" am I not doing this?

"Why" am I allowing this?

There are all kinds of ways to simplify your life, but you have to found your decisions on something.  I ask "why?"  The answer has to be based on scripture first, but after that, I have to be honest with myself.  For instance:

"Why" am I not inviting that widow over for Christmas?  The scripture says we should visit widows and orphans, invite the lame and the poor and those who can't return our hospitality to our homes. Then I have to be honest with myself.  Is inviting her embarrassing?  Too much trouble?  I just don't wanna? 

"Why" are we having the kids play in the traveling league?  The Bible says to not separate from the world, but to stay involved.  Okay, so scripturally, there's nothing wrong with the traveling league.  Now, I have to be honest.  "Why" am I having the kids in traveling league?  Do my kids really enjoy it?  Does my husband think its important?  Do we really have the money?  Do we have the time?  Do I care about this sport?  Are we making relationships with other families that are a good witness for the Lord?  Are the other kids a good or bad influence on my kids?  Would our lives be easier or better if we weren't in traveling league?  Is this bringing our family together, or splintering us apart?

When my kids pester me year after year, generation after generation ("big kids" and "new crew") to have friends sleep over or to get a video gaming system, I have actual reasons  -- answers to "why?" -- to give them.  

 "Why" don't we have friends sleep over?  "As far as it lies with you, be at peace with all men."  We want to keep our children safe, so we don't allow any of our kids to stay over at kids' houses.  If we say "yes" to one child and "no" to another, and it gets back to them, then they will feel badly and we would not have shown love to all their friends, the trustworthy and untrustworthy, and would have driven a wedge between us and the child who might need us.  For myself, I was often the "uninvited" child and felt terrible.  It would have been better if no one had been invited at all, rather than to be the one person who wasn't.  I would hate to be responsible for that in another child.

"Why" should we not have a gaming system?  "Redeem the time, for the days are evil."  I don't know if this scripture is precisely applicable, but it's the one I use when the kids are after me (again!) to get a gaming system.  Being honest with myself:  hand-helds were very popular when our oldest were 7 or 8 and I hated how the children I saw would be riveted over their games, ignoring those around them, not sharing with other children.  Now, we see this with telephones.  The worst part of it is, the camel's nose under the tent.  Once you get one game, another is called for and another and another and a more advanced system and this game is outdated, so you need the new version for the new system.  Thousands of dollars are spent on machinery and software that cause people not to speak to one another.  More arguments happen at our house over things with screens than any other reason.  My family got us a Wii with a foot board for doing exercises with and it was great for that reason and we only had a few games.  It seemed that rarely did anyone play Wii sitting down, so at least there was physical exercise happening.  But, as they do, they wore out and we needed new things.  The board was no longer compatible with the replacement system and the exercise software didn't work with it, either, so the whole reason for getting it in the first place is gone and all we do is play Mario and Sonic games and Toy Story 3 and ask for more games.  My beautiful, outgoing little Noah has become obsessed and his face is not the cheerful, interested-in-others face that I was used to seeing.  When we have a garage sale, the new Wii is going, and, since I paid for it, I can do it without consulting anyone.  Except God, and I'm pretty sure He'd rather see us playing a board game.

Be anxious for nothing -- including getting out the door

When I had three or four little children under the age of five, getting out the door on Sunday morning was the worst experience.  I would arrive at church all frazzled after pushing my husband through his morning routine, dressing a kindergartner, pre-schooler, toddler and baby and giving them some cheerios -- with or without milk -- trying to get myself dressed and looking like a frump at the age of 32.  I would not be in condition to worship, growling at the children and not speaking to my husband. 

Then, one morning, I had an epiphany.

"Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:

First, I had to pray.  So, I started praying every Saturday night before bed about everything that was going to happen the next day and everything that needed to happen.  Then I would thank God for taking care of them in advance.  That worked wonders.

The next thing I did was make a point of waking up earlier!  It's one thing to pray and another to presume on the Lord.  If I can do something to change things and I choose not to, that's presuming on the Lord.  All it took was me getting up a half hour earlier, with the peace of God from praying the night before to change everything.

The moral of the story: pray and act

What is worth praying for?

I recently read J.C. Ryle's A Call To Prayer.  He was a late 19th century Anglican bishop, of all things, and he had a great deal of good things to say.  This is one of the books my father reads every year. 

He asked the reader a question: Do you pray for your work, your family, your relationship with God, your friendships, your house? 

I was convicted.  I pray about a lot of things, but I had recently been dreaming about building a house.  I had collected magazine clippings, read every book at the local library about houses, talked to my husband, my parents, my children, and builder and engineering friends, drew house designs and garden designs.  I have a folder with lists of things that I want in my new house.  But, I had never, not once, ever prayed about the new house.  If this is a gift to us from the Lord, He should have some input.  So, since then, I have been praying.  It is, after all, His money and His time that is going to go into it and if we want the house to work, we want the best Engineer possible on the job.

The point is, I thought my plan for building a house was outside of God's interest.  Either He wouldn't care or it wasn't His job to plan my house.  My question for you today is, "Is there anything in your life that you haven't been praying about?  Why?" 

My favorite teaching tool

A timer.

I have used a timer in the past with Mick, who had a hard time staying focused.  He was so competitive that he would race the timer to complete math problems. 

 I once got every timer that Wal-Mart sells and every school child got to pick one.  We started having recess during school.  That meant 25 minutes of study time, 5 minutes to dance to the juke box or run outside or practice choir music as a family. 

Music practice is timed: 15 or 20 minutes, depending on the age of the child.  Knowing there is an end in sight gives them encouragement, while the habit of practicing is established.

"Clean this room!" is depressing.  "How much can we clean in 5 minutes?" is fun.  Without a timer, my five minutes regularly expand to 25, so, for everybody's sake, I need the timer. 

A timer doesn't actually have to be a machine with numbers.  Noah, 6, likes to spin a top and beat the top to the finish when writing a word or doing a math problem.  Sometimes, I'm the timer: "You've got to 15 to be back at your place!"  Chase, compete, fun.

Coming Soon!!!!  Updates to the blog:-) !!!